Skip to main content

Sorry Seems To Be The Kindest Word

  While negotiating my way through the fairly crowded aisles of the local grocery store the other day, I apologized to a lady as I passed in front of her while she was perusing the canned vegetables.  

"That's alright!" she laughed.

I said "Sorry!" again as I passed in front of an older gentleman as he stood back to decide on a particular flavour of ice cream.

"That's ok!" he chortled.

Another lady was examining the various types of yogurt with her young daughter.  I really needed a tub of sour cream that she just happened to be standing in front of.  I could have waited.  Perhaps should have waited.  Instead, "Sorry - could I just grab that sour cream there!" came out of my mouth.   "Absolutely!" she replied.  I was taken aback.

I had half expected all of them to not respond at all, at the very least.

Perhaps even give an annoyed chuff or tsk.

But no.

This continued several times throughout my shopping excursion that day.

I could have said "Excuse Me" each time.

But I chose to say "Sorry."

The very Canadian word, "Sorry."

And it seemed to have a much nicer effect.

People seemed to be more accommodating.

More willing to step aside, allow me to pass, move back.

I always said "Thank You," mind you, and often felt compelled to giggle, as if we were all in on some giant joke.

And this being a pandemic and all, well, perhaps we need one of those.

I am not sure if using the word "Sorry" elicited a heightened feeling of kindness in people.

Or stirred up a feeling of cooperation or consideration.

Or perhaps just made them feel acknowledged, that I had recognized that they were a person standing there.

I only know that it seemed to extract a response that was unexpected, welcomed, and left both of us feeling good.

More than the words "Excuse Me" would have.

Moreso than if I had said nothing and just barged and charged in and ahead.

I did not feel like I had done something wrong, in saying "Sorry."

I did not feel like I was acquiescing to some unforeseen circumstance or giving in or giving up.

It is just a word, a word that means, technically, admitting a wrongdoing and feeling regret or sorrow over an unfortunate situation.

However, apologizing, according to VeryWell Mind, establishes dignity for those who are hurt, (or in this case, displaced), helps them safe face, (in that I am acknowledging it is my fault they have to move), repairs relationships (or just smooths things over) and makes people feel comfortable (as opposed to uncomfortable or put out).

And despite the theory that the more we say sorry, especially for things we can't control, like sneezing or getting bumped into by someone else, may make people think less of us or lose respect for us, I will soldier on.

And I blame it on the British in my blood.

A survey found that more British people than North Americans apologized.

And being Canadian of British parents, I am holding true to my polite English heritage, and going with my own personal theory that it does make interactions between strangers, or anyone, for that matter, that much nicer.

So, sorry, not sorry for saying sorry!


Popular posts from this blog

Blue Zones

  There are a few areas of the world where people regularly live to be 100 years old. They happen to call them Blue Zones. Not because they are full of blue haired people. But because someone just circled the areas in blue marker on a map. There are five such communities and they are in Italy, Greece, California, Japan and Costa Rica. Scientists have studied what it could possibly be that allows or causes the residents in these locales live to be so old. They have narrowed it down to a few things. Among them are food, exercise, and socializing. All of these places are somewhat remote. Isolated slightly from mainstream culture and society. I personally feel it may have more to do with the food than anything else. There is likely no chance these people consume any processed food whatsoever. Everything they eat is from the land, or made directly from ingredients from the land. Whether it be protein, dairy, vegetables, wheat, rice, etc. Not a chemical to b...
Read more

The Grandkids

  "So, do you have any grandkids?" I was asked the other day. "No!" I replied, taken aback at the question. Clearly I have passed the due date to be asked if I merely have any children. That biological clock has long since sailed and as the lines on my face get clearer, the question now turns generational. Do I have any grandkids? I have always dreaded the question do I have any children, as if by saying "no" I am some sort of a failure, failing the system, failing the country, failing the future. I am always asked these questions by people who do have children and grandchildren, and who are only too happy to open their phones and show me the latest pictures of their offspring. I, on the other hand, do not have pictures of offspring. Only cats and horses. And flowers and rainbows and sunsets and full moons and clouds and beautiful scenery and anything else that takes my eye. I must say in my 20's I certainly yearned to have childr...
Read more

Happy Tax

  The Danes are at it again. Making me re-obsessed about what makes them consistently among the Happiest Countries In The World. After reading numerous books on hygge, lykke and what it means to actually live in Denmark, I have come to the conclusion that it is because they are so heavily taxed. They, like all Nordic countries, and even us here in Canada, to some degree, pay a large amount of taxes. It is perhaps a coincidence that all of those countries are extremely cold for a part of the year. As I understand it, they pay so much in taxes that it virtually levels the playing field as far as income goes. For example, if you make not very much money, say under $10,000, you pay no taxes. If you make a bit more, you pay some taxes. And if you make a lot more, you pay a lot more taxes. That is it. It makes everyone more or less equal. There really is no have and have not. It is really everyone has. At social events, in neighbourhoods, community gatherings,...
Read more